The Invisible Sibling: Wishes Matter for the Whole Family

Although these siblings may not be the ones sitting in the hospital bed, they feel the impact of childhood cancer deeply. As daily life shifts to accommodate appointments, treatments, and uncertainty, siblings can begin to feel overlooked. These siblings are referred to as glass children; not because they’re fragile, but because others tend to look right through them.

What is a Glass Child? 

A glass child is the sibling of a child with serious medical or developmental needs. The term refers to how these children can feel invisible, especially as the family’s focus turns to care for their sick sibling. It’s not a medical diagnosis, but a family dynamic. These siblings often take on more responsibilities at home, mask their own emotions, or mature faster than expected.

But let’s be clear: glass children are not weak. In fact, they are often some of the strongest, most compassionate individuals in the room. Still, it’s critical that parents and caregivers recognize their emotional needs, too.

There’s No Easy Role

Let’s pause for a moment to acknowledge there is no easy position in a family navigating childhood cancer. To better appreciate a parent’s perspective on childhood cancer read Finding Light: A Parent’s Story of Childhood Cancer. As a parent, you may be stretched beyond what feels humanly possible. Recognize that you are doing your best, but an important part of supporting your child with cancer also means making space for their siblings. These children are also grieving, scared, and overwhelmed in their own ways.

Supporting the Glass Child 

Emotional Safety 

Everything you’ve felt your child has likely felt too, but without the emotional vocabulary or coping tools of an adult. Creating a safe space for them to express their emotions is vital. Listen without interrupting and try to not dismiss or minimize their feelings. Let your child know it’s okay to ask questions or be upset by:

• Letting them lead the conversation.

• Acknowledging their emotions without judgment, even if what they say is hard to hear.

• Sharing your own feelings—when appropriate—to normalize emotional expression.

Clear Communication 

Children can sense when something is wrong. Keeping siblings informed can help reduce fear and confusion. Use clear, age-appropriate language to explain what’s happening to their sibling.

• Use the word “cancer” to show it’s not a taboo topic.

• Explain treatment in age-appropriate pieces.
• Prepare them for changes in their sibling’s appearance, mood, or energy.

Let Them Be Kids 

Glass children may take on extra chores or emotional responsibilities to help their family. This is especially true in single-parent households or homes with limited support, but children shouldn’t be expected to act like adults.

Make sure your child knows they are valued for who they are, not what they contribute to the family.

• Praise effort and interests (“I love watching you draw.”)

• Let them make mistakes without shame.

• Gently correct well-meaning adults who tell them to, “be strong” or “be good for your parents.”

• Try to keep their routine the same.

• Encourage them to laugh and have fun without guilt.

Seek Outside Support 

It’s okay if you can’t be everything to everyone. You’re not supposed to be. What you can do is connect your child with people who understand their experience. Whether that’s a counselor, a support group, or a friend who’s been through it.

• Talk to their teachers or caregivers so they can watch for signs of distress.

• Ask your hospital about support groups or sibling programming.

• Look into cancer-informed child therapists.

Small Moments, Big Impact 

Time is a scarce resource when a child is in treatment, but even short, intentional moments can help your glass child feel seen.

• Read a bedtime story together.

• Go for a walk around the block.

• Let them help plan a family meal or outing.

These moments don’t need to be big or perfect. They just need to be yours.

Why Wishes Matter for the Whole Family

At Make-A-Wish Canada, we know that wishes aren’t just a gift for the child with cancer. A wish is a chance to press pause and reconnect as a family. In fact, 75% of our oncology wishes are “to go” wishes—often family trips to the beach, theme parks, or other dream destinations.

For siblings, a wish can be a lifeline. It’s a moment when they’re not just a helper or background character, they’re part of the celebration. They get to laugh, explore, and heal alongside their brother or sister—and finally, feel seen.

References 

“Always Coping, Rarely Seen: Explaining Glass Child Syndrome” Cleveland ClinicOpens in new tab

“Helping Siblings Cope” Canadian Cancer SocietyOpens in new tab

“Creating an Emotionally Supportive Home Environment” PBSOpens in new tab

“Supporting Siblings of Children with Cancer” American Cancer SocietyOpens in new tab